The night I met Caitlin was like no other. From that point on, the calendar of my life split into b.m.c. (Before Meeting Caitlin) and a.m.c. (After Meeting Caitlin). That night, so many parts of me ignited. Music reignited in me and became the language of my heart, one I spoke with Caitlin long before I knew what I wanted to say.

Sia-Bird Set Free
(Click to Listen)

Before meeting Caitlin, I was casually dating and not looking for anything too serious or long-term. I was focused on working on myself, finishing my PhD, and co-parenting my kids. I grew up in a controlling, ultra-religious, and conservative household. Only in adulthood had I started to free myself from the cages I remained in or had limited myself to. Before meeting Caitlin, I had long given up on true love or the idea of “when you know, you know.”

After meeting Caitlin, I became a believer in love again, a true romantic once more.

Girl in Red – We Fell in Love in October
(Click to Listen)

After coming across Caitlin’s profile on a dating app, I knew I had to meet the person who self-proclaimed to be loved by dogs and babies, described herself as spiritually tipsy despite not drinking alcohol, and whose joy in her photos couldn’t help but make you smile. She quickly reciprocated my “like,” and we texted off and on briefly before trying to meet up in person. Unfortunately, her work schedule and my kid and work schedule never seemed to sync. After a lengthy text exchange that left me smiling from ear to ear and eager to meet Caitlin in person sooner rather than later, I jumped in and asked her what her plans were that evening. She mentioned she was planning to ask a friend to go to a local spa for their late-night pool, sauna, and hot tub special.

It wasn’t like me to insert myself into someone else’s plans, but I very much wanted to meet Caitlin, and I had never been to a spa or bathhouse before. Soaking in a hot tub until midnight with someone I knew would be good company, whether romantically or not, was very much my vibe. When I casually asked to join, she soon replied that she was the person with sunglasses in the big pool.

I rushed to get ready, pushing aside my nerves, which came rushing back the moment I arrived.

I scanned the pool, looking for someone in sunglasses sitting with a friend, but didn’t see her. I kept looking, suddenly unsure.

Then our eyes met.

Immediately, I felt relaxed and connected. She was not wearing sunglasses (and was sans friend). I will never forget looking into her beautiful brown eyes and the familiarity and comfort I felt. I am so glad she didn’t wear sunglasses.

I soon learned those eyes twinkle like nothing I have ever seen.

We spent the next few hours talking, laughing, cold plunging, and hot tubbing. I felt an almost immediate connection, but I was unsure of her interest. When the closing gong sounded, Caitlin offered to share a cab since I could be dropped off along her route.

In the cab, I thought about kissing her, but I got surprisingly nervous. Instead, I put my hand on her knee as our first touch. Almost immediately, I felt a buzz, a jolt of energy, and pulled my hand away, somewhat startled. My “first move” ended up being a drive-by knee brushing instead of a physical gesture of interest.

I didn’t want the night to be over. That buzz traveled throughout my body. I knew then I had found someone and something special and couldn’t say goodbye in a meaningful way while exiting a cab. As the cab pulled up to my corner, I asked if she wanted to get out and talk more on a nearby bench before parting ways. We didn’t talk long before her twinkling eyes looked at me as she leaned in and kissed me.

Langhorne Slim – House of my Soul
(Click to Listen)

Every part of me lit up with that kiss. The world melted away, and it felt like time stood still. I felt alive, alight, safe, and strangely home in an entirely new yet familiar way. It felt like I found someone I didn’t even know I was searching for, like my innermost self met someone it had known and loved before, and our meeting made something right in the world. Suddenly, love made sense. WOW!

Our kiss, and then our long embrace goodbye, lingered on my lips, in my body, and in the deepest parts of my heart.

The next day was the NYC Marathon, and our plan to meet up mid-Central Park that morning was thwarted by race barriers. Much later, I made my way back to the park to cheer on a friend and saw the barriers were removed. I texted Caitlin, and we met up on the steps of the Met just after sunset. We sat and discussed both of our experiences from the night prior and learned we had shared and felt the same.

Our 2-D worlds became 3-D.

Leon Bridges – Beyond
(Click to Listen)

Our deep conversations continued as we spoke of fears, dreams, desires, and the future. Before I met Caitlin, I never saw real-life relationships where partners entered old age still madly in love. I thought old people who were madly in love and still enjoyed being with one another were a fairytale created by Hollywood and Hallmark. I was surprised that from the moment I met Caitlin, I dreamed of our future into old age. The dream was so real and so full of joy and love. In it, I felt more authentically myself than ever, and I knew with certainty that no matter where in the world we end up, we will always be “home” if we are together.

Among many things, I envisioned us grossing out the grandkids with our love and PDA, her twinkly eyes as we sit across from each other reminiscing over shared memories, and us much older, laughing so hard at inside jokes that she’s snorting and I’m in tears, both of us desperately trying not to pee our Depends, and grateful for the laughter that keeps finding us, no matter our age.

After meeting Caitlin, my dreams for the future were no longer discarded fairytales or false hopes. I just hadn’t met the person I was meant to create and share that future with.

Charlie Puth - Charlie Be Quiet
(Click to Listen)

Soon after we met, Caitlin traveled to Florida for Thanksgiving. We texted nonstop and talked on the phone daily. The universe continued to confirm that Caitlin was my person and I was hers. After only a few days apart, I wanted to shout “I love you” from the rooftops. But surely it was too soon. Instead of saying the words for the first time over the phone, I made her a mixtape to express my feelings. She listened to it on her flight home. I couldn’t stop myself from expressing my love through songs. Charlie Be Quiet marked the point where the playlist stopped hinting and started confessing.

Tom Petty - Wildflowers
(Click to Listen)

With a heart full of joy and anticipation, I picked up Caitlin at the airport holding a bouquet of wildflowers. We spent the weekend on a staycation in the city, and when the universe made it clear our meeting was written in the stars long ago, we both leaned into love and professed our feelings with the words “I love you.” I have never felt more fully seen and still completely loved by anyone before meeting Caitlin.

We have hardly spent a night apart since. A week or so later, I flew to Florida to meet her parents and niblings. They were all so easy to talk to and felt like home in an entirely different yet familiar way. Her mom, who soon made it clear she is my mom too, felt the most familiar, and I saw that ethereal twinkle in her eyes as well.

Adam Sandler – Grow Old with You
(Click to Listen)

I once considered myself a musician but hadn’t played guitar in nearly ten years. I kept making it a goal to get back into playing and singing, but it never seemed to fit into my life or hold meaning in the same way. When our first kiss reignited music in me, I found myself wanting to play and sing again for Caitlin. I started to practice here and there, and I knew I wanted to sing for her when I proposed. We had talked about marriage, and I knew I didn’t want to wait to start forever with Caitlin. So, on our four-month anniversary, I proposed to Caitlin in song on the rooftop of the hotel where we first said “I love you.”

When I got nervous, missed a few chords, and fumbled some lyrics, I remember looking at Caitlin as she stood with her hands on her heart, a twinkle so bright in her eyes, and a killer smile as she started to sing with me. My heart burst with joy when she said “yes.”

Andrea Gibson, Sara Bareilles & Brandi Carlisle - Salt Then Sour Then Sweet 
(Click to Listen)

On my birthday, Caitlin took me on an incredible hike in the Blue Ridge Mountains. We both love and find joy in being in nature. I grew up in the Adirondacks of upstate New York; the mountains are my favorite place to be. Before meeting Caitlin, I never had a partner who appreciated joining me in those moments, let alone loved them just as much. The photos and videos from our hike reveal just how many moments of laughter and joy we shared throughout our climb. Our journey was also speckled with signs from the universe that we were meant to find each other and that being together was exactly where we were supposed to be.

At the end of our journey upward was a beautiful waterfall surrounded by forest. As we took in the beauty around us, Caitlin asked to listen to a poem by Andrea Gibson, one in which we both found significant and profound meaning. As the poem ended, Caitlin got down on one knee and asked me to marry her. As blue butterflies encircled us, I gleefully said “yes!”

Ben Folds – The Luckiest
(Click to Listen)

Creating a life together, as partners and as a family with my two children, has been nothing short of extraordinary. Along the way, we’ve grown in ways that matter most. Caitlin is the most remarkable bonus mom, and from the very beginning her heart opened fully to Sydney and Amelia. They are thriving as P.S. 6 kids, and their love for Caitlin is as natural as it is deep.

That feeling we had when we met, when we knew and loved each other instantly, didn’t fade. It grew legs. It grew names. Amelia and Sydney.

There are moments when I still have to pause and remind myself that this life is real, that the love Caitlin gives so freely to me and to the kids is not too good to be true. It is better than I ever imagined, and I have never been more certain of anything in my life.

When I met Caitlin, I found someone more precious than words, and I knew I would be forever changed. It is and will continue to be my joy and honor to spend every day for the rest of our lives showing her, in words and actions, how much I adore her, how worthy she is of everything good, and how beautiful, talented, strong, and radiant she is. I want to love her so well that her eyes never lose their twinkle.

I am the luckiest.